Tuesday, December 16, 2014

White People Observations

Have you ever noticed how white Americans have managed to turn "Mexican" into an insult or derogatory term? It REALLY irks me. I know a lot of Mexicans (personally and professionally). They are amazing people and their culture is rich and proud. It pisses me off when people use it as an insult. It is a nationality for crying out loud! It is probably similar in some parts of the world where being American could get you kidnapped or killed...so guessing those cultures use "American" as a derogatory term or insult.

Republicans successfully made the word "liberal" into a bad word. It has only been recently that liberals are proudly claiming they are Liberals again. I want the same thing to happen for Mexicans.

Harry Potter refused to NOT say Lord Voldemort for fear of the name only increases fear and distrust of the person. Avoiding using the word Mexican is the same concept. 

My Mexican friends describe themselves as Mexican or Mexican Americans (if they are citizens). I refuse to shy away from  identifying them the same way they identify themselves and other white Americans should do the same. And they should especially stop using the word Mexican as a derogatory term and they should stop lowering their voice to a whisper when they say things like, "he is Mexican"...they are only perpetuating the Racist belief that being Mexican is something to be ashamed or embarrassed about. 

Okay...off my soapbox for now


Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Gratitude: Day 16

One year ago today, I turned in my resignation from the most high profile role I have had in my career with a major consumer packaged goods company. I was burnt out and had had a tremendously right year from a personal perspective and was just ready for something completely different. I knew what I was walking away from and I had no job lined up other than the idea that I wanted to become a Pilates instructor.

I gave my company 90 days with the promise of additional flexibility if needed while they worked to fill my role. 2 weeks after resigning, I was sitting in our corporate office in Manhattan talking with our VP of sales about what I was going to do next. He expressed his appreciation for my contribution as well as concern for the financial risk I was planning totake entering into the fitness industry. 

I must have had a very puzzled look on my face as to the direction of our conversation because he then decided to get to the point of why he called me into the office. He said he understood my desire for change and my entrepreneurial spirit but that he was afraid that I may dip my toes into the fitness industry and might not like it and want to return. His concern was that they may not have a role for me where I wanted to live when I came back so he wanted to discuss options that would allow me to pursue my Pilates certification and still keep my career in tact.

I was stunned...I had not resigned to negotiate and was not expecting this at all. Through several conversations, I was offered a role in a city I selected with a pay increase and full relocation benefits.

It was the beginning of a major turn around in my life and so many amazing things have happened in just 365 days since I turned in my notice on 11/12/13.

Today, I am grateful for:
1.) The amazing company I work for and people I work with every day.

2.) The awesome opportunity they have given me to keep my career while pursuing one of my personal dreams / goals at the same time.

3.) All the positive changes I have experienced in the last year. 

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Gratitude: Day 15

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) Smooth travels to NY

2.) Dining alone...I just love eating at a nice restaurant by myself. I like to people watch and love the alone time  :-)

3.) My family and family friends rolling out to support my niece at her performance tonight. I was not able to be there in person but I heard there was lots of family friends there and that Miss B pulled off her best performance yet! I talked to her on the phone and she was so happy. I'm so proud of her and so glad so many people were able to see it live!

BONUS: grateful for the universe reminding me to be humble. I wrote more on this in my journal but thought it was worth mentioning here too.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Gratitude: Day 14

Man...I am having a hard time staying disciplined on this 30 days ofgratitude thing. Not because I don't feel grateful...just haven't made the time. 

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) A slow Monday and flexibility in my schedule to attend all my neck appointments for today.

2.) Making very good progress on recovery. Very little nerve pain and just mainly dealing with loss of strength which means that likely my discs are still bulging a bit and irritating the nerve but not nearly as bad as a few weeks ago. Progress as promised.

3.) Beautiful Fall Weather! 

BONUS: My cleaning lady! She is AWESOME and always does a great job!

Good advice

Sunday, November 2, 2014

I believe it!

Gratitude: Day 13

Today, I grateful for:
 
1.) A very relaxing weekend with lots of sleep! 

2.) Finding a new chiropractor who included a one hour full body massage with my adjustment and all covered by my insurance! 

3.) A clean and mostly clutter free house to start out the work week

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Gratitude: Day 12

Man! I am behind! Went on vaca for 10 days and have been busy dealing with this neck issue, work, etc...but back on track!

Today I am grateful for:
1.) Hearing from 2 of my very best friends who live far away but are both doing great and their happiness makes me happy :-)

2.) A relaxing and restful vacation! I went alone but was able to spend time with very good friends while away and it was great to have some downtime.

3.) My niece who calls me out of the blue just to chat. She is so happy and loving her new school and her happiness also makes me very happy!

Friday, October 10, 2014

Gratitude: Day 11

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) My new chiropractor and acupuncturist...she really is awesome and I am so grateful to be in such good care with her. She will probably be on here a lot as I get thru this pinched nerve and bulging disc issue. 

2.) Hearing from a former customer / friend today! It had been a few months since we connected so was a pleasant surprise to hear from her and I am grateful for our new friendship!

3.) Less pain in my arm/shoulder/neck as the day went on. I woke up feeling like I had gotten worse but after a good adjustment, the doc said my neck was normal and healthy for the first time in 2 weeks! Then we did acupuncture which relieved a lot of the pain during the session and my body seems to respond so positively to the treatment...as the day goes on, I feel better and better and even my attitude and mood improves. I'm really loving this ancient woo woo stuff!

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Gratitude: Day 10

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) My new bath recipe: lavender and chamomile Epsom salts, baking soda and lavender essential oil!

2.) Finding a good massage therapist here who can help me with my pinched nerve and bulging disc. She really knows what she is doing.

3.) Making the time to go grocery shopping and buying all healthy food to eat the rest of this week :-)

Monday, October 6, 2014

Gratitude: Day 9

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) Progress with my neck, arm and shoulder issue

2.) Finding a great chiropractor who has a plan for my recovery

3.) Discovering acupuncture 

Bonus: My super awesome health insurance which covers all these alternative therapies 100%!




Sunday, September 28, 2014

Gratitude: Day 8

Today I am grateful for:

1.) Fun girls weekend! I'm feeling refreshed from the weekend and ready to start the work week after a great weekend with some of my best friends!

2.) Having lots of healthy food in my house to start out the week.

3.) Clean house and laundry done. Ready for Monday!

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Gratitude: Day 7

Today, I am grateful for:
 
1.) Living in same town with one of my best girl friends. This is the first time since 2006 I have lived in same town of one of my bestirs and it's pretty awesome!

2.) Girls weekend! Several of my very best friends are coming in town this weekend and I am so thankful we have the opportunity to spend the weekend together. Can't wait! 

3.) Making the time to get more organized at work. I do a little each day and it feels so good to get a new system going in my new job.

Monday, September 22, 2014

Gratitude Day 6

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) My new cleaning lady. She is awesome and does an awesome job everytime! I paid her a little bit extra today because she is so awesome :-)

2.) A very, very productive day at work. Every meeting was purposeful and solutions oriented and really felt like my teams moved forward on several projects. Most importantly, I made a huge dent in cleaning up and organizing my emails and that feels awesome!

3.) The little deli that is just a few blocks from my house. Their food is fresh and delicious and it is only a 15 minute or less round trip...perfect for a day like today when I only had a half hour for lunch!

Friday, September 19, 2014

Gratitude Day 5

Today, I am grateful for:

1.) My new bed. It is awesome and everytime I have to sleep in a hotel bed, I appreciate my new bed even more! 

2.) A quick and easy drive home from Houston with very little traffic.

3.) TGIF! Grateful for the weekend!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Gratitude Day 4

Today I am grateful for:

1.) Making good choices to eat for nourishment instead of for convenience or pleasure. Okay maybe that Dr Pepper at lunch was for pleasure but I did pretty good overall today.

2.) Deciding to focus on "WHEN I" instead of "IF I" and on what I want vs what I don't want :-)

3.) The opportunity to spend some time with a wonderful woman on one of the teams I manage.  Her positive attitude and commercial / professional maturity in spite of the unfair situation she is in right now is incredibly impressive. Very glad to have her on my team and to have the opportunity to develop and coach her! Such great energy!

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 3

Today I am grateful for:
1.) Good meeting and what seems to be a new way forward with a very difficult buyer at one of my customers.

2.) Coffee! I had to wake up super early today and drive to another town and everytime I have to get up early, I seem to get no sleep! Last night I only slept 2 hours but a big coffee with an extra shot of espresso got me thru the day and all the way to the next town for more meetings tomorrow!

3.) Clean and cozy hotel room with a nice firm bed. I'm going to bed early tonight! 

Goodnight world!!

Oh wait! Bonus: I've started journaling privately on a daily basis. It's been really cathartic and also relaxing to reflect at the end of each day. I'm grateful for the time to do this as I know the reflection time is very good thing :-)


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Say what needs to be said with thoughtful kindness

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 2

Today, I am grateful for:
1.) Working from home...grateful for this for a lot of reasons but today I was not feeling well and working from home allows me to sleep in and take mini breaks during the day...and enables me to stay in my pajamas all day!
2.) Excellent health insurance thru my company. My allergies have gone bananas since relocating. I decided to go see an allergy doctor and get tested for allergies. It can cost between $500-$800 but thanks to my great insurance, the testing and the treatments will be 100% covered!
3.) My friend Foxy...she's just an all around wonderful person in general so I'm always grateful she is in my life but today she sent me a sweet text message to cheer me up and well wishes to feel better which put a smile on my face. Love you foxy! 

Monday, September 15, 2014

30 Days of Gratitude: Day 1

Today I am grateful for:
  1. Finding a pilates studio that I REALLY like so close to my house! I love Pilates! Today it kicked my ass but it was awesome:-)
  2. FaceTime! It is so fun when my niece wants to FaceTime to show me what songs she is working on for voice, piana and guitar.
  3. Cooler temps...hello Fall! Well...hopefully it stays cool but I'll take it regardless!

 
 
Joe Pilates on the Reformer

Saturday, September 13, 2014

30 Days Gratitude Challenge: 2014

Last year I was in a big 'ole funk when I saw a Ted Talk where the speaker said, "If you want to change your attitude, start practicing gratitude!" After watching that Ted Talk and knowing I needed an attitude adjustment at the time, I decided to start 30 days of practicing gratitude each day and used this blog to write the top 3 things I was grateful for each day. It took me a lot longer than 30 days to complete the 30 days of posting but I was so glad I did it! It really made a HUGE difference in how I was feeling at the time and helped me get out of the funk I was going thru at the time.

I was recently challenged to complete 5 days of gratitude on Facebook and after completing it, I decided I wanted to repeat my 30 day Gratitude challenge in 2014. Things are going terrific for me this year but I do think it is important to take time to not only be thankful for what you have but to also be present in your life today...letting go of the past, living in the moment and to not spend a lot of time longing for the future as it will be here soon enough.



Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

I've got the "bad friend" blues...

So...I know I've said it before on here but I love my friends (and family) and am so grateful for the wonderful people I am so fortunate to have been my life. 

Sometimes (like lately), I feel like I suck as a friend and have been neglecting the people I care about the most. 

So many of my friends are going thru MAJOR life transitions...new babies, moves to new cities, divorce, new jobs, death, illness, graduations, performances...you name it, it's happening to the people I care about. All of these things are obviously just a part of life but I sometimes feel like I can't keep up and get to everyone to give them my support and love like they do for me. 

It seems so obvious and simple that if I value these people so much then I should be a great friend but I'm not...I let my life and my job get in the way. 

Okay...so I know I'm not a "bad friend" but I have the blues because I know I can do better and want to do better for the people who matter most to me.

So today...I am making a simple commitment to myself and the people I love to do a much better job of staying in touch and to make the time for the people that matter most to me.  

That is all...

Monday, April 21, 2014

You get out what you put in

Or to put it more eloquently:

"You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give."   
                                  Winston Churchill

Monday, April 14, 2014

4-14-14...a day that will live in Fucking Awesomeness!

Today is pretty awesome! Actually all of 2014 has been fucking awesome so far! I closed on my new house today! I can't wait to get moved in and start my new job in my new city! My transition to my new job and my new house has been great so far, very busy, but also just seems to be coming together like clockwork! 

Still feel so much gratitude for everything and I am so excited about the future :-)


Today I feel grateful for (in no particular order):

1.) As always, my mom, who does everything she can for me and her family. She is always there for me even when I sometimes act like a jerk. I will be working on that going forward...

2.) Mar Mar who has graciously let me crash at her place so many times and with very short notice AND has helped me with the home buying process too!

3.) My realtor...she has been AMAZING! So patient, so attentive and so willing to help with anything I ask her to do. She has worked so hard and I am so happy she was on my team through out this process. She was Fabulous!

4.) My lender...he was also awesome! I mean...who is grateful for their lender?!?! Me! He took the time to explain everything to me and was also very attentive to detail and helped move all of my paperwork through so I could close so quickly. He was terrific! 

5.) My company for having such a generous relocation and home buying package! 

6.) My coworkers on my old and new team who have been willing to step up and have shown great personal leadership during this transition.

7.) My dad just because he is just awesome in general and always gives great advice. I am so excited for him and my mom to see my new place soon!

8.) My niece who made a very long drive with me to attend my home inspection during her spring break. Wasn't the most fun way to spend her spring break and Auntie is not always the most patient person in the world (will be working on that too) but I was so glad she came with me and can't wait for her to visit me this summer! Plus I am grateful because she always makes me happy :-)

9.) My friends who are always patient even when I don't call or email back right away and always supportive and encouraging and happy for me! I can't wait for them to visit! I am hoping to impress them with my forthcoming domestication :-)

10.) My insurance agent because she was also awesome and made sure I had all the coverage I wanted and made sure I was getting the best discount available.

11.) They sales guy today at Lowe's where I bought some appliances. He also  totally hooked me up and was very fast and efficient. I think he sensed I was a woman on the move and ready to GSD (get shit done) so I was grateful he was no nonsense and got down to business!

12.) My aunt and uncle who live local where I am living now. It has been so nice to be able to spend so much time with them and they have been so gracious to feed me home cooked meals and also happy to eat out and drink wine with me! I will miss them and hope they will come visit me in my new city!

13.) My chiropractor who has really helped me get back on the right track with awesome care and great supplements. Still a lot of work to do but I set up for success!

14.) I have to have 14 on my list today because 4-14-14 is now a lucky day and I didn't want to jinx it! I am grateful for the really awesome massage therapists I had in both Miami and in Austin.

They say it takes a Village but I say...

TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK!!!!



Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"It was so awesome when my company gave me back pay for not compensating me equally for years!" Said no woman EVER!

So I just had this interesting facebook exchange regarding women in the workplace. The original post came during the State of the Union address right after the POTUS made a statement regarding equal pay for women. One of my FB friends commented:

"What a joke. This is 2014, I'm sorry but putting women (and anyone who isn't rich) in a victim class doesn't work anymore. This isn't a county of victims, we're Americans! Stand up and have some pride!"

My reply: "Not sure what you are refering too...but the fact that it is 2014 and women are still having to fight for equal pay and equal rights is pretty lame...maybe by the time your daughter and my niece are my age, she will get paid the same wage for the same work and not have to fight for her right to make her own health care and economic choices. We've made some good progress but still a long ways to go..."

So then another person chimes in and claims it is a fact that it costs more to hire a woman. This person is a small business owner and here were his posts which I found equally fascinating and appalling:

"Fact: it costs more to hire women. Insurance, maternity leave, hiring a temp to pick up the workload while a worker is on maternity leave. If I hire a man, I do not have these higher costs. So if i had two employees, one man and one women, and they were paid equally, it would cost the employer more to employ the women. If you push for equal work for equal pay, it will discourage employers from hiring women. It's about economics."

Another person chimed in and posted this article from Harvard Business Review. It was written in January 1989. It is startling and sad that we have not evolved much since 1989...

Here is an excerpt:
 
"The cost of employing women in management is greater than the cost of employing men. This is a jarring statement, partly because it is true, but mostly because it is something people are reluctant to talk about. A new study by one multinational corporation shows that the rate of turnover in management positions is 21/2 times higher among top-performing women than it is among men. A large producer of consumer goods reports that one half of the women who take maternity leave return to their jobs late or not at all. And we know that women also have a greater tendency to plateau or to interrupt their careers in ways that limit their growth and development. But we have become so sensitive to charges of sexism and so afraid of confrontation, even litigation, that we rarely say what we know to be true. Unfortunately, our bottled-up awareness leaks out in misleading metaphors (“glass ceiling” is one notable example), veiled hostility, lowered expectations, distrust, and reluctant adherence to Equal Employment Opportunity requirements.
 
Career interruptions, plateauing, and turnover are expensive. The money corporations invest in recruitment, training, and development is less likely to produce top executives among women than among men, and the invaluable company experience that developing executives acquire at every level as they move up through management ranks is more often lost.
 
The studies just mentioned are only the first of many, I’m quite sure. Demographic realities are going to force corporations all across the country to analyze the cost of employing women in managerial positions, and what they will discover is that women cost more.
 
But here is another startling truth: The greater cost of employing women is not a function of inescapable gender differences. Women are different from men, but what increases their cost to the corporation is principally the clash of their perceptions, attitudes, and behavior with those of men, which is to say, with the policies and practices of male-led corporations.
 
It is terribly important that employers draw the right conclusions from the studies now being done. The studies will be useless—or worse, harmful—if all they teach us is that women are expensive to employ. What we need to learn is how to reduce that expense, how to stop throwing away the investments we make in talented women, how to become more responsive to the needs of the women that corporations must employ if they are to have the best and the brightest of all those now entering the work force."
 
 
I highlighted the last part in bold because it appears business did NOT draw the right conclusions form studies being done the workplace. Women are STILL not being paid equally for equal work. It is a widely known and accepted fact that women STILL ONLY make 77% on the dollar of what men make.
 
Tonight the president said:
 
"Today, women make up about half our workforce. But they still make 77 cents for every dollar a man earns. That is wrong, and in 2014, it’s an embarrassment. A woman deserves equal pay for equal work. She deserves to have a baby without sacrificing her job. A mother deserves a day off to care for a sick child or sick parent without running into hardship – and you know what, a father does, too. It’s time to do away with workplace policies that belong in a “Mad Men” episode. This year, let’s all come together – Congress, the White House, and businesses from Wall Street to Main Street – to give every woman the opportunity she deserves. Because I firmly believe when women succeed, America succeeds."


Bold and Underline added by me.

I couldn't agree more! The thinly vailed excuses and justifications that women are more expensive because they have the ability to reproduce is complete bullshit!

Just think about it...suppose you choose NOT to reproduce and NOT take maternity leave...does your company turn around and give you back pay for the years of NOT paying you equally??? HELL NO! They put that money they saved in their pockets and in the pockets of their shareholders.

Suppose you DO take maternity leave...does your company ALWAYS hire a temp to take over your role while you are out?? HELL NO! I can speak personally to this...I have covered for people on maternity leave 4 times in my 12 years in corporate america. NEVER ONCE was a temp hired. NEVER ONCE was I given double pay. NEVER ONCE was I given extra time off. So...not only did they pay my female collegue LESS because they were budgeting for her to take maternity leave later, they put the money for a temp in their back pocket too because they could get some other sucker (me) to do twice the work with less pay.

Now don't get me wrong...I am a HUGE advocate of maternity leave. I believe women should get a year and at full pay. I also believe men should get longer paternity leave and it should be mandatory. In fact...I think they should re-brand paternity leave to "MAN-ternity leave" so more men would take it! I just think companies should provide proper coverage while people who choose to have children are out on leave...afterall, they are budgeting for it by paying women 30% less than their male counterparts.

The rest of the facebook thread included many men (including the author of the original post) who chimed in that they definitely believed women ARE equal to them and that is how they treat their spouses, female co-workers, etc....

And I believe them...I really do! Most men in the modern day DO consider women their equals but believing something in your heart and mind vs actually executing those beliefs in a for profit workplace are two entirely different things.

Then there was this huge debate on the thread about being women (and the poor) being "victims" vs "being proud" and then the whole conversation devolved into Obama ruined the world and then we somehow landed on the Holocaust. I'm not even kidding...below is a screenshot. Pretty typical debate on social media I suppose....



As tempting as it is to continue on ridiculousness of the comments in the pic above...let's stay focused on some real solutions regarding income inequality between men and women.

So...what to do? What is the most most obvious solution to this problem?

Let's just walk thru it again....
  1. Companies pay women less because their health care is more expensive
  2. If women did not have such expensive health care, there would be no need to pay them less
  3. Afterall...most of us do actually believe women are in fact equals
So what is the most logical conclusion??? Duh!

Take the burdens of health care off of the backs of business.

Have you every wondered why (before Affordable Care Act), you had to get your health care insurance from your employer and if you didn't have a job, you didn't have health insurance? Whereas, you can just call any local insurance agent and buy care or life or home insurance and those companies actually compete for your business??

Ever wonder why our insurance policies do not reward healthy behaviors that help keep overall costs down?

Or what about a system based on outcomes?

Or what about a system where doctors and hospitals weren't bogged down by having to deal with bloated insurance administration?

Drum roll please.....what about single payer system?!!?!?

What if businesses no longer had to deal with the expense of providing health insurance? What if that was handled by private sector, highly competitive and highly regulated by government to protect consumers?

Just think how many jobs would be created...

Just think about the increase in innovation and productivity...

Just imagine a world where instead of your company requiring you to do more with less and paying women less than men, they could now hire more people and pay them a competitive wage because they didn't have the burden of paying for Health Care

Just imagine a world where big business and small business could invest in their employees intead of investing in Health Insurance Companies.



Monday, January 13, 2014

Lucky and Grateful

I am really lucky and extremely grateful to have such awesome friends! We don't get to see each other as much as we used too but when we do, it freaking rocks and fills me happiness!


Friday, January 3, 2014