Dear _____ Letters

Welp! I pretty much suck at blogging consistently...but my mom forwarded me this hilarious email today so I had to post it! Enjoy!


Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars

end there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our

country and we got a little busy, OK?

Sincerely,

The Mayans



Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving

'til 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns



Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and

have no blood pumping through them, they can

never get an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic



Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's

a b*tch, eh?

Sincerely,

The Titanic



Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your

punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada



Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know -

let's Yahoo! it."

Just saying...

Sincerely,

Google



Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president

is black -- WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985



Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle



Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding!

They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP



Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed



Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely,

Stevie Wonder



Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely,

The World



Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color...

Sincerely,

Black people



Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain... no one wants to run with me

either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin



Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely,

Parents Everywhere



Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies



Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol



Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans



Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words

into nice words, you piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User



Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die.

CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified



Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore



Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant



Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor

in this world and I was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper